doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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