So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize