oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
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My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
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When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I see more hoeing in ur future
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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