your room smells of hookers.
And success
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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