Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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