google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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