I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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