I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize