Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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