the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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