Your tits are I can't wait for
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize