you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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