Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
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Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
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Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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