i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize