I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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