i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
If I die, sorry about rent.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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