why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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