you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
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Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
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Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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