your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
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Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
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So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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