The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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