but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize