there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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