first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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