Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
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Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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