Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Randomize