I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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