ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize