I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize