you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize