So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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