She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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