His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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