I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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