fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
it was like eating out sand paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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