What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
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Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
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And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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