So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize