there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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