Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize