oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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