I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize