I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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