hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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