took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
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Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
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Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
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