The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
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Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
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Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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