i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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