piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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