How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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