Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize