Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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