I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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